In my line of work I get to deal with all types of personalities, cut from a million different cloths. And my challenge, as a trainer, is putting together programs and materials suitable for all of them. So I do. But as I come to learn more and more about the individuals I share office space with every day is how…and why...they fascinate me. Yet, it’s also how respect is built.
A people watcher by nature, I often stay quiet for a time. I
use this time to feel people out, to figure out how to react to them in the
most effective manner possible. I let them do the majority of the talking, and,
when I do, what I find often fascinates me.
One particular person comes to mind as I write this. He is a
retired CEO, a man who has been married (happily, might I add) to the same
woman for 36 years. He took her on, and her son, and raised the boy as his own.
And, while he is a retired Army veteran, having served his country in Vietnam,
I find that he and I are cut from much the same cloth, regardless of having
come from very different circumstances. And this…this is where respect is born.
And it’s funny.
See, he waits. He, like me, waits and listens to people. He
lets them do the majority of the talking. And since I spend at least two out of
my nine hour days lecturing and training, using my own experiences to draw
upon, he has had the unique opportunity to get to know me to the point where he
feels comfortable sharing things with me. And he does…often. After just two
short months of being in the position I am in, I have seen people on the verge
of giving up on real estate...transform. And that…that makes me happy.
When even my boss says, “I attribute the positive changes around here and with person X and person Y to you…” I know I’m making all the right moves. And watching them grow, transform and become passionate makes me even that much more passionate about what I’m doing. Because, for the first time in a long time, even though my reach might be a little smaller, I can see the effects of what I am building with my own eyes…and I love watching it.
When even my boss says, “I attribute the positive changes around here and with person X and person Y to you…” I know I’m making all the right moves. And watching them grow, transform and become passionate makes me even that much more passionate about what I’m doing. Because, for the first time in a long time, even though my reach might be a little smaller, I can see the effects of what I am building with my own eyes…and I love watching it.
Yet, I digress. As we (my frenesis – friend/nemesis) talk,
we joke, we share information, I found something out about him that reminded me
of me so much that it was almost an eerie similarity.
You see, once upon a time, he met some people who were open, loving,
honest people. And he, like me, stayed quiet, waiting to feel them out.
Invitation upon invitation he declined…waiting. He never wants to owe anyone
anything, much as I don’t.
But finally, that moment he said “yes” to an invitation, he
made a lifelong friend; someone who he has shared the past 19 years with…quite happily.
And this is when it hit me.
We seemingly difficult people have our walls up, for
whatever reasons that we do, only because we want to see who is worthy of
breeching them. But if we never let anyone breech these walls, we miss out on
lifelong experiences, everlasting friends and maybe even long standing
relationships that have the power to change us, to make us better people.
Life is short. Grab on to the happy, and hold on tight.
Because when we don’t, we lose.
And, of course, I can’t forget the track from my Soundtrack
of Life.
Now, YOUR turn. Any thoughts?
In my previous life I was a successful Sales Rep/ Regional Manager many people would ask me " How is it that you can close an account when no one else can?" To me it was simple; the secret was not so much a trick but rather a character trait.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this article because; I am the same way. Little did I know that it is actually a form of sales tool taught by many, its called the "Silent Pause".
Mind you that our process is much longer than a pause, the result is the same. "If you shut up long enough and pay attention, you will be surprised what people will say, share and if your really listening; they will even tell you what they want."
No only applies to sales or business but in life in general.