Those of you who know me, know that I rarely watch
television. However, tonight, I found myself wrapped up in an episode of ‘Mystery
Diners’, featuring an episode of a San Franciscian based restaurant called “Source”. As part of the undercover
discovery, the CSI-ers of this foodie based show uncovered one particular
employee who was particularly…well…shall we say…misguided. (Which is my very
kind and loving way of saying ‘total idiot’.)
Where it began coming
undone…for me
One particularly ‘hempy’ twenty something employee --
complete with hundreds of dollars worth of dread perming (dreadful perm or
dreadlocks on a white girl…your call) -- performed the quintessential liberal
sin…pushing HER beliefs on everyone else. If there is ANYTHING that rubs me the
wrong way faster than a Brillo pad on a chemical burn, it’s someone who forces
their own beliefs down someone else’s throat.
Vegans, in my experience, have a particularly
sinful method of doing just that, in the most in-your-face way possible. And
this employee of ‘Source’, proved no exception to my personal experiences.
She began by speaking with one of the undercover workers
about chickens, burned beaks and protecting eggs. She reached out to the other
female employee, embracing her in an attempt toward ovarian preservationary
female bonding act, comparing the human female species to chickens with burned
beaks…all in the name of egg protection. Are you kidding me? You must be. This,
my friends is a primary reason why liberals should be forced to undergo an IQ
test prior to being allowed to procreate.
And then…milk was
murder
Another undercover foodie was instructed to order a vegan
burger with cheese from said ovarian-baked-hemp-wearing-hippie. The employee?
Well, she insisted that her employer did not offer ‘real cheese’ as a menu
option because “milk was murder”, even though that was an outright lie. And, if
you have never born witness to one of my in person rants, allow to me to say
that you, quite frankly, missed out this evening. Milk is murder? Perhaps we
should all stop breast-feeding our offspring then. Perhaps we should ban all
livestock from doing the same. Milk is murder? On the contrary, milk is life.
Correct me if I am wrong, but I have never heard of a bovine-related fatality
based on udder pulling, or any other animal for that matter -- and this is
coming from someone who doesn’t even drink milk unless it’s almond in nature. My
‘udder’ (yes, play on words here) disdain for this manner of forceful behavior
is nothing short of ‘udderly’ disgusted.
Hypocrisy Now
Allow me to understand this correctly….you, as a
self-prescribed hippy environmentalist, support capitalistic entities that take
full advantage of you every day, including said ‘vegan-centric’ employer, ‘Source’
--yeah…for profit entity, genius. So, you feel good driving your hybrid across
Los Angeles while spending four hundred dollars on your dreadlocks and $200 on
your organic Urban Outfitters gear? You are somehow high and mighty with your
$500 sunglasses, sitting on a beach, sipping on your soy Latte from Starbucks
and complaining about how evil capitalism is? Yet somehow, you self-same,
self-important hippie liberal also becomes the loudest proponent of how we must
all stop eating meat, cheese and eggs, ignoring the laws of natural selection
and virtually turning our heads on issues of population control…all in the name
of everyone joining hands and singing Kum By Ya and dancing naked around a
bonfire? Get a grip. You are FAR more of a problem than you will ever be a
solution.
This, as so many other things, is a PRIME example of why
common sense is no longer common, and why ‘educated’ does not equate to
intelligence.
Now? Your Turn…weigh in. Is “milk…murder?”
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