I never would have foreseen things turning out the way they have, not in a million years. But you know what? I’m grateful that they have. Despite all of the twists and turns down this winding road, I finally found what I needed to find, and I finally found it all by myself.
Mine & Yours
I own my life. Do you own yours? Good decisions, bad decisions, right decisions and wrong ones, all of these decisions are now mine again. Completely, totally and utterly mine. And that has given me a lightness of heart I’ve never had before, as well as a capacity for forgiveness that I was lacking for a very, very long time. I’m not angry anymore. Finally. And that was a long time coming.
We all justify things in our own minds based on what we think we know. Truth is, we probably don’t know as much as we think we do. And where does that line of thinking take us? I’m not sure. And that used to bother me. Now? It doesn’t. Not one bit. I found my reality check and cashed it. And from it, I was left with change…not of the monetary variety, but a change in me. And I rather like what’s left over. It’s something I can work with and mold into something better. I let go of the justification, the anger and the regret and found something underneath it all that I wasn’t expecting to find at all: acceptance. Because you are never going to get where you are going if you stay stuck where you’ve been.
Irony, Humpty Dumpty and Quiet
Ironically, I wasn’t able to put anything back together, not the way I needed to, until I silenced everything and everyone else in my life. And now? Things are coming together in a way that they never would have before, of that I am quite confident, and in a way that I never even dreamed possible. Because for the first time, in a long time, I’m taking my own advice…and owning it, sans justification. What’s more, is that I know that this Humpty Dumpty repair bit that I’m embarking on is the right thing for me…which is all that truly matters.
I suppose that sometimes we all need that catalyst to make us realize that it’s time to reinvent ourselves, and maybe to even reinvent our entire lives in the process. I am. I took a good, hard look at a lot of things in my own life, and actually learned from them this time. How? Because this time, I’m doing something about them, one by one and I’m doing them in silence until they are done. After all, talk is cheap…a rather Herculean epiphany coming from a word merchant, right?
What’s my point in all of this? Well, it’s simple. None of us can change our yesterdays, but we all have the power to change our today’s. I don’t know about you, but I’m taking that little tidbit and running with it, and, even more than that, I’m taking ownership of it. Your turn.