Sunday, March 24, 2013

Forgoing Foresight

I never would have foreseen things turning out the way they have, not in a million years. But you know what? I’m grateful that they have. Despite all of the twists and turns down this winding road, I finally found what I needed to find, and I finally found it all by myself.

Mine & Yours
I own my life. Do you own yours? Good decisions, bad decisions, right decisions and wrong ones, all of these decisions are now mine again. Completely, totally and utterly mine. And that has given me a lightness of heart I’ve never had before, as well as a capacity for forgiveness that I was lacking for a very, very long time. I’m not angry anymore. Finally. And that was a long time coming.

We all justify things in our own minds based on what we think we know. Truth is, we probably don’t know as much as we think we do. And where does that line of thinking take us? I’m not sure. And that used to bother me. Now? It doesn’t. Not one bit. I found my reality check and cashed it. And from it, I was left with change…not of the monetary variety, but a change in me. And I rather like what’s left over. It’s something I can work with and mold into something better. I let go of the justification, the anger and the regret and found something underneath it all that I wasn’t expecting to find at all: acceptance.  Because you are never going to get where you are going if you stay stuck where you’ve been.

Irony, Humpty Dumpty and Quiet
Ironically, I wasn’t able to put anything back together, not the way I needed to, until I silenced everything and everyone else in my life. And now? Things are coming together in a way that they never would have before, of that I am quite confident, and in a way that I never even dreamed possible. Because for the first time, in a long time, I’m taking my own advice…and owning it, sans justification. What’s more, is that I know that this Humpty Dumpty repair bit that I’m embarking on is the right thing for me…which is all that truly matters.

I suppose that sometimes we all need that catalyst to make us realize that it’s time to reinvent ourselves, and maybe to even reinvent our entire lives in the process. I am. I took a good, hard look at a lot of things in my own life, and actually learned from them this time. How? Because this time, I’m doing something about them, one by one and I’m doing them in silence until they are done. After all, talk is cheap…a rather Herculean epiphany coming from a word merchant, right?

What’s my point in all of this? Well, it’s simple. None of us can change our yesterdays, but we all have the power to change our today’s. I don’t know about you, but I’m taking that little tidbit and running with it, and, even more than that, I’m taking ownership of it. Your turn. 


Laura Reinhardt said...

We have allowed our lives to deteriorate from a time in our youth. Our youth was a time of quality not quantity when we were happy with bike, bat and ball. Today is about quantity our children must have music lessons, gymnastics lessons, tutors and more all to help them find their hidden qualities. We grew up playing in the streets studying our selves silly to earn the scholarship to go to college and make something of ourselves to show the world our true worth. How did it get so twisted that in the process of growing ourselves we purchased our children's futures. Where do they go from here? We gave them the best the lessons the video games the laptop the iPods the any and everything we quantified as the best. Now we discover that our lives have been led astray and we need to redefine what is truth and value in our lives. How do we retrain our children who have grown up in our lives finding their values and direction from us only to now discover we were wrong. I wonder what will happen to the the generations that were raised by many of us who now discover we need to reevaluate our priorities and and return to the life we began. I can only hope that somewhere along the line our children watched with their eyes and saw what we did was out of love and grow to value the giving of live over the ownership of objects. The loving relationship over the superficial existence the meaning of family over the meaningless spending. We have to look at what have we done with our lives? Was it right and good and were they the values we intended to pass on to our children? Then we need to look at what's left of our lives and is there time to correct the misconception and put the meaning back into our lives. We need to focus on what is the real quality of life and erase the misconception of the quantity of live. Not all will be able to reach the heights of financial excess we need to help them understand if you have love health and loving families of blood or friends your lives are richer than most with unlimited spending abilities. Why becsuse they seldom have time to enjoy what they work so hard to achieve. This is enjoyed by their families in the form of lessons and objects and the circle continues.

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