It was late Wednesday/ early Thursday night, August 1, 2013 around 12:30 am. It
had, for a variety of reasons, been an emotionally taxing day and even more
emotionally taxing week. I decided to run myself a bubble bath. As is customary
for me, I lit some candles to help me relax. I had a few lit both in my bedroom and in my
bathroom; I like the aromatherapy. I got in the tub and laid down,
closed my eyes and let the events of the day sink away into blissful
nothingness.
I’m not sure how long I was in there before I heard the
smoke alarm. I walked out of the bathroom and saw the corner of my mattress
going up in flames. As quickly as I could, I ran out of the room to see if I
could locate our fire extinguisher. I could not. I ran back in and saw that the
flames were spreading…fast…very fast. The fire had already risen to my ceiling,
was engulfing my bed and the room was scorching hot. As quickly as I could, I shut the door in an
attempt to contain the fire until the first responders arrived. I ran
downstairs, sans clothing, and told the girls to get outside. Deaunna asked me
if she should call 911, I told her yes. Both girls exited the home, safely, and
called the fire department. I grabbed some clothes out of the clean laundry we
had folded on the ottoman, threw them on in a panic and was about to join them…when
I remembered the pets.
Oftentimes, the dogs and cats will go into my room and hide
in my closet or under my bed. I panicked. Instead of joining the girls outside,
I rushed back into the bedroom. I swung the door open…and the heat hit me. I
jumped on the ground to check under the bed. It was clear. At this point, the
fire had engulfed nearly all of my mattress and the headboard and sideboards
were aflame. The nightstands and lampshades were riddled by fire. It was taking my home.
I couldn’t breathe, but my adrenaline was rushing so high that was gasping for air at the same time. I ran over to the closet…I touched the doorknob…it was too hot, I couldn’t get there in time. I had no choice but to turn around and run out of the house as fast as I could. I felt like I was going to pass out. I was light headed. I couldn’t breath. I nearly hit the ground right there in the room. But I managed to exit, and I grabbed the doorknob once again to try and keep the fire contained to my bedroom, staving what was now a roaring blaze off from the rest of the house. I ran to the back door, and made sure all three dogs were outside. The cats had all found a hiding place in the laundry room. It was all I could do. I lunged toward the front door.
I couldn’t breathe, but my adrenaline was rushing so high that was gasping for air at the same time. I ran over to the closet…I touched the doorknob…it was too hot, I couldn’t get there in time. I had no choice but to turn around and run out of the house as fast as I could. I felt like I was going to pass out. I was light headed. I couldn’t breath. I nearly hit the ground right there in the room. But I managed to exit, and I grabbed the doorknob once again to try and keep the fire contained to my bedroom, staving what was now a roaring blaze off from the rest of the house. I ran to the back door, and made sure all three dogs were outside. The cats had all found a hiding place in the laundry room. It was all I could do. I lunged toward the front door.
As I exited my home, the firefighters arrived on scene. I,
however, wasn’t feeling so great. My palm was aching and starting to blister. I
could feel blood on the inside of the sweater I had on. I was gasping for air.
I sat on the sidewalk, in a state of shock and disbelief.
In the meantime, Arthas had gotten out of the backyard. He was making the rounds with the firefighters outside. As I watched two of those brave first responders enter my house with axes and hoses, I was praying that they could save my humble home from the flames that seemed so determined to take it. But at the same time, I remember smiling for the last time that night. One of the police officers was cradling Arthas like a baby, remarking on how cute he was...pretty funny for a 56 pound puppy. But he was a pretty big guy, so it worked out alright.
In the meantime, Arthas had gotten out of the backyard. He was making the rounds with the firefighters outside. As I watched two of those brave first responders enter my house with axes and hoses, I was praying that they could save my humble home from the flames that seemed so determined to take it. But at the same time, I remember smiling for the last time that night. One of the police officers was cradling Arthas like a baby, remarking on how cute he was...pretty funny for a 56 pound puppy. But he was a pretty big guy, so it worked out alright.
Almost immediately a fire fighter approached me as I sat on the pavement. He took one
look at me and escorted me directly over to the ambulance. I had forgotten shoes. Walking on the pavement hurt. I stepped in a little bit of glass, and winced from the pain. They hoisted me up in the ambulance and the paramedic began his assessment.
After taking my jacket off, it was clear that I had burns up and down my right arm…and they were bad. My hair was singed and falling out in clumps already due to the intense heat in my room. I was covered in soot and ash.
After taking my jacket off, it was clear that I had burns up and down my right arm…and they were bad. My hair was singed and falling out in clumps already due to the intense heat in my room. I was covered in soot and ash.
The paramedic took a look down my throat and said that my
airway was closing up. I needed to go to
the hospital immediately.
I began to cry. The tears stung the burns on my face. I was
scared; I couldn’t leave my girls there alone. I was able to eek out, “My
children!” as best I could. The paramedic said he would get them and let them
know where I was headed. As he strapped me into the gurny, taking particular care of my wounded arm, the other paramedic fetched Deaunna and Briaunna. I told them what was going on and where I would be. I told them to call their father for a ride there. All I could do was watch them as we drove away, praying that my house, my animals and my children would remain safe.
Within minutes, I was en route to North East Baptist Hospital.
Within minutes, I was en route to North East Baptist Hospital.
Upon arrival, the nurses immediately put in an IV and the
doctor arrived on the scene. He checked my airway, and said that my throat was
closing up fast. I was at risk for my lungs collapsing. I had two minutes to
make a phone call. So I called the only number I could remember, and told them
what was going on, and where I was being transferred. The doctors were going to
sedate me, intubate me and transfer me to SAMCC...I was out of time. The
doctor came in, hung up the phone and rushed me in the next room.
The time was
now 1:34 am.
Within minutes I was rushed to a room full of 10 people. The
anesthesiologist arrived. I saw the tube they were going to put in my throat. I
remember being enveloped by pure panic. They put something in my IV and
everything went black.
At 10 am the following morning, I woke up in the ICU at
SAMCC. I didn’t know where I was. I had a tube down my throat. I began to
choke. The nurse immediately responded. Everything was fuzzy. I wasn’t sure what
was going on. They were trying to talk to me, but I could barely hear them, my mind was racing so fast. I
could feel the tube come out, slowly, panifully. Tears stung my face again. I was coughing. I saw blood. I looked down and my
entire body was covered in soot and ash, and I immediately remembered the fire. My adrenaline rose. I could smell my burnt hair. I was
nothing short of terrified.
I didn't know if my home had survived. I wasn't sure of the damage. I needed to know where my children were.... a million thoughts were coursing through my brain.
My arm hurt. My hand hurt. I had tubes and needles and IV’s coming out of various points of my body. I could hear the beeping of the monitors in the background. Everything was confusing; scary. The nurse said she was going to give me morphine, and that they were going to begin treatment since I was conscious now.
I didn't know if my home had survived. I wasn't sure of the damage. I needed to know where my children were.... a million thoughts were coursing through my brain.
My arm hurt. My hand hurt. I had tubes and needles and IV’s coming out of various points of my body. I could hear the beeping of the monitors in the background. Everything was confusing; scary. The nurse said she was going to give me morphine, and that they were going to begin treatment since I was conscious now.
I began shaking uncontrollably.
They told me that I had to go into the burn shower. I had no
idea what that was. They put me on a plastic covered gurney and wheeled me in.
From there, I had no control. They began by washing my hair. I watched in
horror as I saw more of it fall out; and saw the water blackened by soot and
ash. It felt like it was forever before they got it all of the residual soot and smell out. Then, they began to
scrape my burns on my arm. I now understood the need for the morphine. It hurt.
I was still dazed and confused, laying there, watching the black water roll off
of me as the three nurses attended to me. Everything still seemed as though it was happening so fast…
It hurt. It was scary. I was still clueless. I couldn’t
speak.
Once they finished bathing me, they put me in a dry hospital gown, and the head nurse gently patted my hair dry, taking care to not pull on it, since I had lost so
much of it already.
They took me back into the ICU unit, gave me more pain
killers and exposed my wounds for the doctor.
I passed out.
At 11 am, the doctor arrived. He poked each burned point on
my arm. As I yelped out, hoarsely in pain, he said it was a good thing, it
meant that the nerves were still intact. I managed a smile. It was likely the
morphine.
By noon, they had dressed my wounds, given me more pain
killers and told me that I was going to be transferred to another wing of the
hospital. I was able to eat some hospital orange Jello, have some water and finally got to see my
family at 12:30 that afternoon.
The girls had been there all night. I could read the concern
on their faces as if it were one of my favorite novels. I did my best to make light of the situation and crack a few
jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood. I couldn't speak very loudly though, my throat hurt badly from the tube. They seemed to feel better knowing that I was going to another wing of
the hospital. Their fear began to wane a bit.
Still..everything seemed to be happening so fast for me. I was groggy, trying to manage paperwork, answer questions, speak with nurses, social workers, doctors and even a chaplain. I was exhausted.
Still..everything seemed to be happening so fast for me. I was groggy, trying to manage paperwork, answer questions, speak with nurses, social workers, doctors and even a chaplain. I was exhausted.
When the girls left, I dozed in and out of sleep for awhile.
They moved me shortly thereafter. They had given me some fresh clothes and
comfortable socks, and transferred me to a less bustling part of the facility. I laid there in bed, staring at the ceiling, and the girls kept coming in to check on me as the nurses continued to monitor my vitals and have me hooked up to machines left and right.
I was tired...exhausted really. I was still not sure what was going on, or what the next part of the process was. I patiently let the experts guide me through.
I was tired...exhausted really. I was still not sure what was going on, or what the next part of the process was. I patiently let the experts guide me through.
I didn’t have my cell phone, I couldn’t call anyone, couldn’t
message anyone. I was able to put a status as my daughter on my Facebook page using her phone,
which one amazing friend of mine saw and rushed directly to the hospital to
make sure I was okay the moment he saw it. I had chalked up my phone to being lost in the fire, as it is normally right next to me on the bed. (Amazingly, it survived, which will be incorporated into part two of this tale.)
I don’t remember too much else from that day, as I was on morphine
for most of it. I remember feeling loved and cared for by people who mean the
world to me. I remember the concern on the faces of all three of my children,
and their not wanting to leave my side. And I remember being insistent that
even though the doctors wanted to keep me for another 48 hours, I wasn’t having
it. I convinced them I was well enough to go home at 7 o’clock that night. I piled in the car, went home and passed out on the couch until late the next morning. I had never been so tired or drained in all of my life.
Yet, I was already starting to change. And that is why I am committed to this series. Ironially enough, when I did a "one word" challenge back in January, the word I chose was "change". It would appear as though life has come full circle on me once more.
Yet, I was already starting to change. And that is why I am committed to this series. Ironially enough, when I did a "one word" challenge back in January, the word I chose was "change". It would appear as though life has come full circle on me once more.
Fires are traumatic. I don’t think I had any idea how
traumatic until I survived one. However, knowing that I was close to quite
possibly not waking up at all has given me a new lease on life, and has
certainly changed my perspective on a variety of things. So this is one of a
three part series about how this house fire is truly transforming my life. And
I hope you follow along. Who knows? Maybe we can all learn something together.
So, for now, thank you for reading. If you have an
experience you would like to share, I welcome you to leave it in the comments
below or in the comments section as it is posted on Facebook or Twitter. I look forward to hearing what you have to say!
I am so sorry for what happened... I've been between tears and smiles, smiling you are home! I had a house fire years ago and I was fortunate we had no injuries! You are in my prayers and I hope I am able to read your three installments! God Bless you and your three Angels.
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