Fate or Coincidence?



Life is comprised of a million different moments. Moments that define us. Moments that change us. Moments that serve as wake up calls. Moments that serve as time for dreaming. And each moment, each unexplainable, amazing, fantastic, devastating, gruesome, horrible, terrifying, wonderfully inexplicable moment makes us who we are; maybe even who we were always supposed to be. That isif we let them.

Last night, I posted a question on my Facebook page: Fate or Coincidence? And while I read a smattering of different answers, here is my rather permeating take on the question at hand:

It’s fate. But it isn’t just about fate; it’s all about the moments that fate creates. You see, I read something once:

“Everything happens for a reason, and when you realize what that reason isit will blow you away.”

I don’t know about you, but I believe this to be universally true. After all, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey, isn’t it? I think so. Because as I look back upon the woven tapestry of my life, I see loss and luck; all of which have equally guided me to where I am today. And while my journey hasn’t ended yet, I’ve learned a lot about myself along the way. And what I learned is that when we put energy out therewhen we REALLY put energy out there, we create ripples in the cosmos, and those ripples echo; they bring the people to us that we need, even if we don’t recognize them at first. And I believe we are fated to meet each of them, let go of a few and keep even fewer. 

Allow me to explain why I believe this:

Life, fate, energy, destiny, serendipity...pick your poison. Regardless, all of these things are brought together to guide you, to drive you, to push you, to change youforever. And the funny thing about it is that life mysteriously and empirically uses people in your life, as instruments, to do just that. There are people in your life who will force you into hiding, others who will force you to grow, and others who will teach you how to loveeither for the first time, or all over again.

Some instruments that life bring in will sing a sweet song, and have a lovely melody, but they do not force you to feel the music; you merely smile and hum along. Others will play in a grade forte, sweeping you away with emotion, making you question everything. Yet still, others, will begin slowly, gently, crescendo and finish up with a harmonious melody that brings you to the highest and best version of yourself. It’s those last ones that you should strum forever; who become the full orchestra of your life.

And to learn this lesson, I have had to learn some hard lessons on the way. Probably the hardest has been (for me) is knowing that I have to make some hard choices in life; the point is that I made them, in my time, when I was ready. Because, if you don’t make the choices, you miss the opportunity, the resolution, the challengethe change. The trick isthat you have to do all of this out of love. Love for yourself, but also love for someone else. So me? Now? I choose to do everything I do out of love. Now, does that mean I lose my sass, my personality or myself? Absolutely not. It just means that I know what I need to do for me, to guide myself back...and hopefully pick up some other passengers along the way. 

Because here is another universal truth: The people who are the hardest to love, are truly those who need it most.  And, ironically, many times, these are the people whose loyalty and love are legendary.

It’s like I told my friend the other night: “It is not from a fixed place that we can fix the broken. Everyone is broken, but only those who have been truly broken can understand that. Because there comes a time where you choose to make your heart not calloused, open and just choose to allow love to work its magic. Because love for many people is all we have leftand, indeed, all that they do. In perfect love and perfect trust, there is no failureeven if you are merely a melody.”

So here’s the bottom line….
Oftentimes throughout my life -- and even today --, I psyched myself out. I over think everything. That’s my nature. I imagine it’s yours too. I make up reasons, excuses, justifications – and I am masterful at it – as to why something won’t, can’t, and is impossible. And usually, when that happens, I run. I run far and fastand I don’t look back.

And what did I learn from running?
Nothing. In fact, I learned far more from staying put, staying still, and not allowing anything (or anyone) to disturb my peace. I learned more by becoming water than I ever have by insisting on being a stalwart, unmoving rock. Because even rocks get carried away. Whereas water, as a still pool, will eventually dissolve the rock. That is, afterall, the nature of water. Therefore, I’ve learned to be water. And, in being water, I found my peace. Perhaps you will find yours too.

I, personally, have someone in particular who has slowly become my entire world, my best friend, my...rock to my water. Someone who I have the most faith in, someone I believe in...everyday. Someone who believes in me, who challenges me, who calls me on my shit...and who I do the same to...my best friend, and someone I love beyond measure...and always will. The one person I can't lose, and the one person who says he can't lose me either. That's water. That's fate, I think. Because there are times I can feel when we are thinking about the other. I just know it. And time has proven it true. Coincidence is for fools.  

Rigidity only serves the ridged. It is only those who flow who are truly free.

So what does it all mean in the end? I don’t really know. But I do know this: Succeed or fail, the only real failure is in not trying, in not giving it all you have...because you can’t sail half way across the ocean and sit, eventually every traveler needs to go to shore. Even water traverses a venture unknown to herself, and she has to make a choice as to which shore she will take her sailor. Which shore, however, could very well be determined by the hand of fateand I believe it is. But here is the thing, I'm ashore...I'm just waiting for you to join me. 

What do you think?


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