I had a lot of fun this weekend. I took the first vacation I
had taken in five years, and it was a blast. And even though I didn’t travel
far from home this time, I realized one universal truth: It’s not always about
the journey, it’s about who you take your journeys with that can matter the
most…and even be the most fun. Because, I’ve been a million places in the past,
but didn’t have nearly as much fun as I did this weekend….just aimlessly
wandering.
And, on the drive home, as we got to talking and reminiscing
about days gone by, I got to thinking: – as if that surprises anyone -- Are we
really who we are, or are we who we choose to be? Do we have to live forever
trapped by the demons of days gone past, or do we have a chance, a choice every
day to do better, be better and be more?
And The More I
Thought, The More I Blew My Own Mind…
See, all the time you get advice, feedback and opinions from
everyone else. People who believe you are self-important, a bragger, a narcissist…a
whatever. And here is the thing that struck me like a lightning bolt: “Who
cares what they think? Because I don’t.” Let them think/believe/assume/say
whatever they will. Because here is the bottom line…they will do it anyway. So here is the thing:
“The most important,
influential, amazing and important relationship you will ever have in your life
is the one you have with yourself. And how you feel about yourself is precisely
what you will see mirrored in others.”
And while I am far, far, FAR from perfect, I know that striving for perfection isn’t
the answer. It’s about going with the flow, enjoying life, taking a journey,
and being kind to yourself as you go…and being kind to others in the process. And, judge
me all you will, but I know my worth…I’ve earned my worth through years and
years of struggle. Want to call me a bragger? Want to call me self-important?
Want to call me whatever? I’m okay with that…because I know (in my heart) none
of it is true. I do what I do because I want to change the world, or maybe just
inspire a little change here and there…because I realized that living a life of love is all that really matters...and I do just about everything I do out of love. Because, you see, love is a domino…it hits
everything else around it…it creates and fosters a desire to change. And, if
you approach life with love, you can never go wrong. Ever.
Until you know the full story, you, my darling reader (and me too) are in no position to truly judge anyone.
Seek first to undertstand, then to be understood.
Then again, I also realized that life isn’t about having the
most friends, it’s not about sitting at the popular kids lunch table, it’s more…and
it should be. It’s about finding value, it’s about maybe overlooking some
people’s faults, and taking risks you never thought you should take.
Maybe, just like you, I spent far too much of my life
relegated to living by rules, by a specific set of standards that I had
qualified and quantified in my own mind when I should have spent more time just
enjoying the ride…not worrying about when and where I would get “there”….and
maybe even forgetting there was a “there” in the first place. See, life is one
thing: yours; and you get to define, re-define and break the rules as much as
you like….because without risk, there is zero reward.
You can read (and I have) a zillion self-help books, take
relationship advice from Facebook memes and take to heart the opinions of
others, or you can strive to do good, live life and embrace magic in disguise.
Live the life you love, love the life you
live. And own it...warts and all.
And if there is one thing I know it’s this: I have never
stayed the same…ever. Throughout my own journey, I have fought, I have clawed,
I have fallen, I have gotten back up, I have failed, I have succeeded, I have
loved, I have lost and I have done it all over again. You probably have too...we all have a story...and each is fascinating...if we just stop and listen.
And, up until the fire, I
had forgotten that life is all about risk, it’s about giving more, caring too
much, being bigger, being true, being grateful and just not caring what other
people think…because if they want to know the “why” they will ask…if not, they
aren’t meant to be part of your story...and that is okay.
But here is the scary thing…I had become so jaded, for so
long, that it took a shock to my system to change me...to inspire me to change….and here is what I am
getting at here:
“I don’t want you to
need that shock to your system to realize what I have.”
Happiness doesn’t have to be fleeting. If you expect great
things, if you see positives where you have been pre-conditioned to see
negatives, if you just live, without expectation, without fear, without
anticipation….you are never disappointed, and you have time to just be…happy.
(Explains my Facebook cover photo, no?)
And while I fully accept the fact that I will fail again in
many areas of my life, I know one thing:
Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again…fail better.
But, succeed or fail, rise or fall, ebb or flow, never,
ever, ever forget to enjoy the ride…and the people you take it with. Because you never know who might be a special someone who changes your life...even when you least expect it.
Thoughts? Comments? Opinions? Go for it…give me something I
can sink my teeth into. Because if it doesn't challenge you, it will NEVER change you.
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