Aristotle
was the one who said it and I’m sponging it…because it’s true. "A friend to all is a friend to none." So, quit expecting me to be a friend to all.
I keep my circle petite out
of desire, not destitution.
There
are people out there who like having large circles of “friends”. And still others
enjoy accumulating acquaintances as quickly as a bachelor likes to add up
notches on his bedpost. I, however, fit handsomely into neither group.
Thanks for asking though…
When
I consider myself a “friend” to someone, it means more to me than your average,
garden-variety definition of chum. It means that I will stop whatever I am
doing to be there for my comrade-in-arms. It means late night phone calls. It
means listening to whatever they say without passing judgment. It means a
whole-hearted investment of time. And, the truth is, I don’t have enough time
for any more than five folks.
It
isn’t that I don’t take pleasure in people (okay, you caught me, I actually
don’t like people…at all) but I want folks to realize that I am limited on
time, not on love to give. I’m tired of people thinking that I have this generous
amount of “time” with which to foster relationships. I don’t.
My days are filled. I write every day, for
about seven hours. I spend the other hour marketing, writing query letters or doing
something other than pick my nose. I don’t take a lunch. I eat at my desk. Yes,
every day.
I plan my workouts. I schedule walking my dog. I
schedule time to cook and eat dinner with my family --I believe in eating
dinner with my family…yes, every night, at a table. I (literally) plan every 15
minutes of my day, from start to finish. I do this because I choose to; it
works for me.
My evenings are chockful; those
are family time. I don’t do happy hour, because I’m training for a 5k obstacle course.
I don’t just randomly go “meet” people because they commented on my Facebook
wall. I am not hard wired that way, because I don’t need to be --and I’m not
changing.
My weekends are also taken
up. I use
my weekends to run errands, I spend time with my family, I meet up with my
circle of friends (who I actually only a see every few months). Once I’m done with that, I
catch up on work, I write my book, I work on my non-profit project, or (once in
a blue moon) simply take a day to decompress from the stressors of my week.
I don’t have a wealth of
“time”.Honestly, I don’t know where most people find such abundance.
I may
only be a friend to few, but I can say that I am a damn good one; because a
friend to all is a (true) friend to none.
Fair
enough?
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