This last year has been a particularly challenging one for
me. The “whys” are “whys” that would likely leave most people curled up in a
fetal position. There was the divorce, the estrangement of one of my children, the
new job, the pushback I got from changing things at the new job (at least initially),
the ending of some close relationships, the beginnings of new ones, the holding
on to those that meant the most at the time, the fire (and let me tell you, almost
dying that way will scare the snot out of you), the recovery, some revelations,
a variety of riot acts (mine and others), re-discovering…and then watching
everything coming full circle once again. It was, quite literally, the most
painful, dramatic year of my life. And it all forced me to change.
Old Me Versus “New Me”
I am a firm believer that there is a battle raging inside of
most people; we fight to build the new and replace the old. Sometimes, we fight
so hard on building the ‘new’ that we forget the aspects of the old us that we
really liked; things that made us happy. Things that maybe some people counted
on us for. But I realized today that you can have both. You can absolutely have
it all. So I made the command decision to keep and hold on to some certain
aspects of the “old me” while continuing to build and evolve the new.
I’m keeping my sardonic, sarcastic (and usually wildly
inappropriate sense of humor). I like her. She makes me smile. I’m keeping my
focus. I’m keeping my strength. I’m keeping my resolve. I’m keeping my
organizational skills, and my drive for better. Those things stay. Everything
else goes away.
I’m focusing on building more positivity into my routine, more
gratitude, more temperance, more ability to let go of outcomes. I’m sticking
with love, when people are suitable to receive it. I’m building a life of
selective entrance. I’m building change. I’m sticking with that. It suits me. And,
through it all, I learned a valuable lesson on a long rainy drive that I took
today: the only person who can truly make us happy (any of us) is the one who
looks us in the mirror each and every morning. And if you aren’t happy with
her; if you can’t love her; no one else will either. Because, I have also
learned that in order to be loved, you must first start with being loving -- and maybe even (gulp) lovable.
With that being said…
We Have to Remember
that We are All Prisms
People, in my mind (you included) are prisms. There are many
different sides to every human being we meet, all fractal; all able to reflect
and change the light (or darkness around them). If those prisms surround
themselves with darkness, i.e. the same, continual, self-destructive behavior
patterns that don’t lead to total fulfillment, you will never see how truly
beautiful they can be. Conversely, when surrounding yourself with people who
are full of light, prisms sparkle with beauty beyond your wildest imagination…and
have the power to light up the world. How you control your own prism is,
ultimately, up to you.
Either Catch Up…Or
In our lives, as we change and evolve toward something
bigger or better, while still maintaining our inner spark, those who are along
for the ride can decide to continue forward, or fall behind. And, if there is
one thing I have always said, it’s that it is only when we surround ourselves
with people who make us the highest and best versions of ourselves, who never settle for less, who pull us
out of our comfort zones, who make us think at an entirely new level, that we
excel. It is only when we surround ourselves with people who lift us higher
that we rise to the occasion. It is the people who are both hard but soft;
those willing to extend both tough and real love who inspire us to create
change within ourselves; who make us think about things like making everything
new, old again…sort of.
So, who are YOU going to be today? Better yet, who are you
going to BECOME tomorrow? The same version of you in a different pair of pants?
Or something more? The choice is yours.
And what would a Miss
Adventures blog be without a song of the day? Well...quite frankly...not one.
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