I am going to tell you all a secret. For a very, very long
time, I was a recluse. Almost totally. I rarely left my house, save for grocery
shopping and routine appointments. And, in my solitude and silence, I found
peace. I rather enjoyed my own company. There was less drama, less nonsense
when I was by myself in the world. I spent more time saying no than I did yes,
and when I said no, I lost out on a lot life had to offer. I’m re-learning that
now.
Because, you see, if
you don’t open up to a world of yes…
You miss out on incredible experiences. This weekend, I
spent Sunday in the Hill Country with someone I am very close to, someone who
means the world to me. Someone who has taught me a lot about life, and someone
I am incredibly grateful for. Someone who opened my eyes to a world that I
never even knew I would fall completely and totally in love with.
A world of small towns, a world of tourists, a world of
simple pleasures and a million things that just make you smile; that make you
happy.
A world of old-fashioned ice-cream shops, jalapeno flavored
peanut butter, antique shops, old dance halls with wooden floors, beautiful
scenery, peaceful homes on an old, lazy river, sweet, genuine people all around you and tree
swings. A world where you can still swing on a ring into a pool. A world that I
never even knew could make me feel more at home than my home ever has.
In all of my talking, I didn’t listen enough. In all of my
diatribes and dissertations, I never really paid attention. I was so busy being
right about what I believed was right that I never even bothered to look at
another way, until someone else showed it to me.
So now, I’m
rethinking everything. Except this time, I’m rethinking it outside of my own
head.
I wonder if life’s pleasures are in chasing around the high
paying jobs in the big cities. I’m challenging my belief that bigger is better.
I’ve changed my mind.
So what now?
I want the simple things. I want a small cottage in the side
of river or lake somewhere. A place where the trees are plentiful and the peace
and tranquility unyielding. I want to wander in and out of a town where I can
walk everywhere; a sleepy, quiet little place with tree swings and beautiful
water. And I want to share it with someone who will be my partner; who will
draw out the best in me; who will believe in me; who I can be stupid and silly
with; who I can wrestle with; a person I can roll my eyes at but still want
nothing more than a few more minutes laughing about everything and nothing
with; someone I can wander anywhere with for the rest of my life and everywhere
still feel like home.
I want a place to write. A place where I can create and reap
the rewards of the most simple of pleasures, with the freedom to opt in to the
hustle and bustle of big cities and stressful jobs, big city life, business
attire and massive amounts of pressure.
I want simple. I want easy. I want it all. And that’s exactly what I’m
going to have.
Except this time, I’m doing it differently. I’m not
attaching deadlines to it, I’m not attaching expectations, I’m not attaching
anything more than acceptance, love and laughter. Because it’s never the
screaming that awakens the sleepwalkers…it’s the whispers.
What about you? What was the whisper that woke you up?
And of course...soundtrack of life you know...this song just fit. :)
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