My name is Monica, and boy do I have some friends. 2,279 on Facebook. 1,854 on LinkedIn. About 100 family members. My phone should ring off the hook. My inbox should be full. My notifications should be blowing up. I spend time “communicating” with most of them. Facebook, email, text- I do it all. Still, my phone remains silent, with the exception of daily calls with my daughter, and phone calls with my favorite Aunt 3 or 4 times a week.

Over the last several years, I’ve managed to build what many may say to be a fantastic career. Exceeded in an industry where less than 4 percent of Executives are under the age of 40. Secured the primary political role in the largest agency in the State of Texas at 31, and took the helm of my first agency at the tender age of 36. In doing so, I’ve made thousands of contacts in the circles that “matter”; professionally and politically. I’ve been in the Cool Kids Club, a far cry from my beginnings. I’ve catapulted to a GS-15 position with the federal government, when ten years ago I couldn’t even get an interview for a GS-9 position. I count some serious Power Players in my circle, and am honored to be considered likewise by many of these consummate professionals. All in all, my contacts are numerous. So why doesn’t my phone ring?

Technology plays a major role in how we communicate with our contacts. We can send an electronic message instantaneously, and keep it short and sweet in a time when we can hardly afford to do anything other than keeping it short and sweet. And while we may believe that we can reach thousands of contacts via these micro-messages, we can suddenly find ourselves alienated from actual connections.  Even better that we don’t have to engage in small talk.  We get to the point, then move on.

To evidence, I have lived in Mississippi for almost six months. SIX MONTHS. Yet, I’ve managed to make exactly ZERO friends. I lived in Stanton for three years, and made less than ten friends- and can count on one hand those that wound up being actual friends instead of acquaintances. Why? Because I didn’t have to. I could keep in contact with people from my life in Alpine and San Antonio via the wonders of the internet, much like I am doing right this very minute with you. While technology drives us into the future, it’s best appeal is that it allows us to live in the past. And even better that we don’t even have to have actual communication with the past- we can send mass messaging to 5,000 people in 140 characters or less. (No- I don’t have Twitter). The only people I interact with outside of my staff are wait staff at out favorite restaurants. God forbid something happen to us. Don’t get me wrong- my staff is absolutely awesome. I cannot tell you how welcome they’ve made me feel, and how it is so great to bounce surface level news with them. However, I am hindered in how deep my conversations can go with them. And they, of course, must remain just as guarded with me as I them. Understandable.

As the New Year is upon us, and we’ve decided to really make Mississippi our home, I grow more aware each day that I really need to make friends. Not casual acquaintances, but actual friends. People we can have dinner with on weekends, play golf with, go for bike rides with. People we can share our joy, and pain, with. People with kids that our son can hang out with, at whose home he can spend the night. Real people- not just persons on the other side of a keyboard.

More importantly, I owe some of you an apology. While I’ve been so busy making a living, I forgot to invite my friends into my life. Today, I resolved to do better. To BE better. A better friend; a better family member; a better human being. I have resolved to do the unthinkable in this day and age- to TALK to people who are important to me. Starting today, I am picking up the phone and using it for the purpose it was intended- to CALL people. Obviously, living almost 1,000 miles away from the people who meant the most to me makes it difficult to drop in for coffee. What I can do is hear the voices that used to fill my days with joy. To hear the smiles on their faces; to feel sadness in their eyes. To laugh, to cry, and most of all to love. There are people who I communicate with every single day- online. I’ve almost forgotten what their voice sounds like. For that, I am ashamed. I owe you more than that. Because each of you has had an impact in my life. For what it’s worth, I apologize for not having this epiphany years ago. I have some time to make up.

It starts today. And it was surprisingly easy to do so. Facebook has most of your numbers attached to your profile, and most of you have been in my phone contacts for years. I started today with a call to a former coworker who I know loves me because she posts to my wall a few times a week. I’ve even been a bad Facebook friend- I rarely even comment on her posts. I always see them, and always “like” them so that she knows that I’m thinking of her. That is not enough. Today I made the call, and am so very happy that I did. That one ten minute call was enough to really catch up with her. More importantly, that call was the catalyst for my realization that I’ve been a miserable friend.

After I hung up with her, I called a couple of family members and friends to leave a message. And then I made a call that I only make once or twice a year- to my brother. I’ve missed so much of his life, as I didn’t really meet him until I was an adult. We spoke for ten magical minutes, and I was grateful. I received a call from one of my dearest friends, and spoke with her as well. We spoke of her coming out to visit, which would make me so very happy. We spoke about our separation from our daughters, and I realized that I’ve been absolutely awful to her for not calling. She helped me sell my house from hell, when it looked like it was all falling apart. Here she is, her daughters thousands of miles away in Israel, and I’ve been terribly remiss about calling her to check on her. I must do better.

I also publicly committed to doing better. That’s kind of my way to hold myself accountable for doing what I set out to do. Imagine my surprise when my inbox began to fill with phone numbers of people I haven’t spoken to in years. I didn’t even ask for numbers.  I returned a call to one of those friends, one of my favorite politicos.  We had a fantastic conversation; as though we just spoke yesterday.

What does that tell me? The answer is simple- I have some pretty tremendous friends. And I, for one, am grateful. Because while I recognize that a phone call from me may impact you, it impacts me further by knowing that you care enough to still want to speak to me after I’ve been buried in my career. That means the world to me, and I vow to make use of every single one of those messages in the very near future. I will do better. I will BE better. My promise to you.

Contacts are great. Connections are vital. I will connect in 2015. Love ya.

Connect with Monica on her blog and on her social sites here.