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Miss Adventures

Life doesn't come with instructions. We make it up through our misadventures...

Showing posts with label something positive. Show all posts
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Don’t forget where you came from and help anyone who wants out but don’t let anyone pull you back. If you come from a bad place, getting out it not a bad thing or at least it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to look down on where you came from either. Once you have made it out, look back and see who you inspired. They are the ones you reach back and help.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is show others it is possible to do the impossible. Focus on those who want to do the same and give encouragement to the haters. They only hate because they are scared. Don’t take their crap but don’t give any back. Your peace is more important than their hate. You can’t help those who won’t do what they need to change yet complain about the same problems day in and out. Don’t keep those people company in the valley, just keep showing them the view from the top of the mountain. It’s up to them to climb.
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Break the habit of thinking that what others say is your truth. It is THEIR truth and how they view the world but has nothing to do with you. The next time you catch yourself judging someone, ask yourself what you can learn about yourself because it is all about you too. We can always learn something about ourselves when we start to judge or say something bad about someone else and if you are smart you will reflect on this.

Want to live a happy life? Be successful? Don’t waste time thinking about what others say or judging them yourself. You can’t do two things at once (not these things anyway) and if you have to choose, always choose something for your better good. You only have this one life, how do you want to spend it?
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Money is like air and food; we need it to survive, but it is only a tool. Your life and work should be about your end goal. Ask yourself what you end goal is and if you aren’t living it then make some changes. Do you think you are here to work and pay taxes? Do you want that to be your life? If your answer is no, find out how you can make your life the way you want to live.

People have this amazing ability to adapt and become versatile, but they have convinced themselves otherwise. You don’t have to live according to the dogma someone else invented, and it’s all invented. There is no set way to live your life; there may be consequences, but you are still the one who makes the choices. Own those choices and make sure you are happy with them or change. You can live with little money if you are willing to change your lifestyle. No more excuses about not having money. Either make more or live with less.
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Having grown up in a culture where blaming everyone from your parents to the dog down the street for your unhappiness was normal, I have found the truth to be all inside of me. I am the only one who’s perspective on a situation I can change. I am the only one allowing the negative feelings vs. the positive ones. I am the only one who can change my mind about how I think about something.

Have you ever had a change of heart about something you felt about strong? In a way, it is the same only it is more of a conscious change. You just decide you are going to be happy, or you are not going to let a person or situation make you unhappy. It is that simple and difficult at the same time. Honestly, I now find it easy to decide to have happiness rule my day because I won’t allow any more unhappiness. It took some time, but I make that decision each morning before I get out of bed now. Does that mean everything is perfect? No, but my frame of mind is perfectly handling everything.

Do you have anything you would like to add or comments you would like to share? I would love to hear from you.

Koastal Kymmy ~ Having a “real job” means I can’t work in my jammies...so I blog ~
www.koastalkymmy.com



4 Lessons I Learned From My Nieces

Awhile back, the man said something to me that ruffled my sarcastic feathers. In conversation one evening, he referred to me as an ice princess; the end result being my panties quickly crumpling into a wad.

Then, I unwadded my drawers and unruffled my feathers and I thought about it a little bit.

And I realized that he might be (just a little tiny bit) right.
I guess I am kind of an ice princess.

So here is my confession.

I never thought about how cold and intense I can come off at times – to just about anyone, even small children and dogs --, but when he said it, it got me to thinking about all the times in my life that I have been accused of coming off as cold, unfeeling or even a bit mean. There were several.

Okay, okay, there were more than several.

The thing is, I don’t mean to come off like that.

At all.

I love people (well, some people) very deeply. I am just really, really, really horrendous at showing it. In fact, I can’t remember a single time that I have been good at it. My face is usually set in “resting bitch face” mode 24/7, 365 days a year. I can be very intense when I speak, very authoritative and even come off as a bit bitchy – I don’t mean to do that either.

I’m also a bit of a shut in and a hermit, circa Princess Elsa from “Frozen”.

Why am I this way? A myriad of reasons, really. But, after meeting my nieces for the first time this past weekend, I also learned that I need to….


Up until about a year and a half ago, I had never met Sam and Katie. In fact, I have never even met my brother, Dennis. My brothers and my sister were born much further ahead of me in the lineup of kids – over 14 years in fact --, making me the baby and the only child that my father and my mother had. Since my half-brothers and half-sister lived in Kentucky – and prior to the dawn of social media – we had never even spoken. In fact, the first time I ever spoke to my brother was last year.

Crazy, right?

However, after connecting via Facebook, I began talking to the nieces quite a bit –

sometimes even the nephew. And it was eerie how much we all had in common, how much alike we all were. So, one day, Sam and Katie jumped in the car and decided to come and visit Aunt Shauna (aka Princess Elsa). And while I thought I could teach them something about business and blogging and such, they actually ended up teaching me some things instead.

It’s okay to show people how you feel
Touchy, feely is how I would describe my nieces. They would hug and play with each other’s hair and didn’t have the “security bubble” like aunt Shauna does – A security bubble of that includes a strict “no hugging” policy – hugs = death -- and generally liking to keep at least three feet of distance between myself and any other bi-ped with a pulse. However, being around these girls made me realize that it’s okay to be touchy feely; that feeling loved is part of that.

It’s okay to talk to your parents every day
I cannot even describe how cute it was to watch the girls text and talk to their mom and dad a few times a day. There were a lot of “I love yous” and “I miss yous" thrown around – words generally not in my vocabulary. There was a time that I felt I would say those words much more freely, but as life happened, I guess I got a little bitter; cold even. However, the nieces, my brother and my sister-in-law made me realize how important it is to say those things; and that when you are texting family or close friends, you shouldn’t feel like a burden – they might just be waiting to hear from you.

Approach everything with a sense of wonderment
As the girls spoke about the differences between Kentucky and Texas, they did so with an endearing childlike wonderment, and I thought it was absolutely adorable. It made me realize that I rarely approach anything with a sense of wonderment anymore; that wonderment had been replaced with cynicism and apprehension. I need to work on that. And, had they not come down to visit, I probably would not have realized how much.

Give praise. Often.
I admit, I am slow to give praise – like molasses in January slow. I guess that is probably why whenever I have done so in the past I have (literally) freaked people out. The girls, however, are anything but slow to giving praise.

Here is an example: As we went into the mall and I wandered off to grab a phone call from the man, I came back to hear the clerk gushing and saying, “Oh, so THIS is the famous aunt?” And while I minimized it, because I don’t often accept praise easily either, I have to admit, it was nice to be praised.

Something that reminded me that I need to be a little more forthcoming with praise.
So, before they left to return home, I sent a message to my brother telling him what amazing girls they were, how I absolutely adore them and how thrilled I was that he let me borrow them for a weekend. I went on to praise my brother for doing such an amazing job in raising two very sweet, loving, caring and amazing women.

So, I guess I’m on the right track. At least, I am starting out on the right foot, and maybe, just maybe my ice cold demeanor melted just enough to remind me that sometimes we all need an emotional overhaul – or at least a makeover. And sometimes, just sometimes, the people you think you are meant to teach are the people who end up schooling you.

All my love from the bottom of my a-little-less ice cold heart,
Miss Adventures
Sure, I journal. You might journal too. I like to document things. I like to document things (take my TimeHop) for instance, so that I can look back to a year ago and say, “Hey, do you remember what we were doing a year ago today?” – if for no other reason than I enjoy perplexing the man – “We went to a chili cook-off at a food truck stop and I had an éclair cake. I couldn’t finish it, so we got into a 20 minute food fight on the way back home. You covered me in cake, and I got you back at the house. That really was a fun day.”

Now how could you possibly have a bad day after remembering that story?

You can’t.

Good memories are the things that lasting relationships and happiness are made from, you know.
Although technology isn’t always the best place to advertise our “good days”. I mean, I for one, sometimes want to jump through the screen and smack someone upside their little pumpkin head for the simple over use of the following words:

Amazing
Astounding
Outstanding
Wonderful
And blah, blah, blah. 

On and on the drudgery goes as pixelated people try to convince us all of their perfect lives.
Yeah.

Right.

Sure your life is perfect.

<please note sarcasm>

To me this happy-go-lucky-farting-rainbows-riding-unicorns sort of “happy” comes off as a bit disingenuous. We all have our bad days, our down days, the days where we want to strangle the cat with a shoelace – calm down, I don’t have a cat….or a potentially murderous shoelace. So having to hear about how wonderful everything is all the time from random folks on the internet is a bit disturbing, when you know that isn’t the truth.

--Not that I am saying everyone should only complain online either, I’m merely pointing out that not everyone can have a great, marshmallow filled fluff ball of a day all the time. --

So, I came up with an idea to document happy memories in a different way -- offline. Instead of having to pour through journal after journal to recollect a happy memory, I decided to make the remembrance of happy memories in our house a little more random.

Enter: The Good Day Jar

It’s a $5.67 canister I saw in Wal-Mart. It’s a little on the Herculean side, but I like it. The idea is simple.

Take one good thing out of every day.

Write it down (with the date) and then fold it up in the jar.

Whenever you are having a less-than-stellar day, visit the jar and start taking out good memories until you put your mind right.

Good memories are one of the most powerful weapons we have in our arsenals to fight off the challenges off bad days. Which is why it is crucial to document as many good days, good things as possible; to slay the dragons of doubt that creep up on us in the dark of the night.


And that is why everyone needs a Good Day Jar – and a Timehop.

Yes, even you.

Have something to say, something you’d like to add? Leave it in the comments below!

Good-Daily Yours,

Miss Adventures
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About Me

Shauna is a nationally syndicated, renowned columnist who has put a specific emphasis on real estate and personal finance. Shauna has been featured on the front page of Yahoo.com, CNN Money, Realtor.com, MSN Money, Active Rain, Trulia and Zillow (among others).

Shauna has also been a featured speaker on a variety of radio and talk shows as well as Huffington post video panel discussions and been requested to speak on a myriad of issues all throughout Texas, including advocacy against domestic violence, and empowering women through self-education.

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Miss Adventures

Life doesn't come with instructions. We make it up through our misadventures...

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