“An apology might help, but you can change your life without one.” –Robin Quivers
Personally, I am not a promoter of apologies. The most admission of guilt you will ever hear from me is a hasty, “I’m sorry,” –and that is only if I recognize I offended you in some way, and only if sincerely mean it.
My only redeeming quality in the “I’m sorry arena” is that I will actually offer an act of contrition, as opposed to just telling you to fuck off and be on your merry way.
Then again, maybe I'm not so bad. I got to thinking about a myriad of pretenses over the weekend --thanks to a series of unfortunate events. Subsequently, as I got to ruminating more and more about it, I realized that my shortcoming is much of a shortcoming at all.
The reason I am not big on apologies is that I try my utmost to refrain from doing things that require an apology to begin with.
Infuse yourself in that notion for a minute.
So much of who and what we are becomes wrapped up in a feeling of entitlement for an apology when we have been wronged. After all, that’s the “right” thing to do. Yet, will that apology make your world better and brighter? Is it going to fix the ache in your heart? Probably not.
Apologies do not hold any magical properties. In fact, apologies are like Band-Aids. They do not really DO anything, other than cover up whatever is bleeding to begin with. So why wait for one?
The cold, severe veracity is that most people are not going to give you an apology, because they (frankly) do not feel you are owed one. You may as well just get over it. Because the only thing worse than no apology is an apology someone doesn't mean.
Quit waiting for an apology that is not coming and change your life anyway. Because trust me, it is not stopping whoever hurt you from doing the same.
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| Image courtesy of Baloo Cartoons |
Personally, I am not a promoter of apologies. The most admission of guilt you will ever hear from me is a hasty, “I’m sorry,” –and that is only if I recognize I offended you in some way, and only if sincerely mean it.
My only redeeming quality in the “I’m sorry arena” is that I will actually offer an act of contrition, as opposed to just telling you to fuck off and be on your merry way.
Then again, maybe I'm not so bad. I got to thinking about a myriad of pretenses over the weekend --thanks to a series of unfortunate events. Subsequently, as I got to ruminating more and more about it, I realized that my shortcoming is much of a shortcoming at all.
The reason I am not big on apologies is that I try my utmost to refrain from doing things that require an apology to begin with.
Infuse yourself in that notion for a minute.
So much of who and what we are becomes wrapped up in a feeling of entitlement for an apology when we have been wronged. After all, that’s the “right” thing to do. Yet, will that apology make your world better and brighter? Is it going to fix the ache in your heart? Probably not.
Apologies do not hold any magical properties. In fact, apologies are like Band-Aids. They do not really DO anything, other than cover up whatever is bleeding to begin with. So why wait for one?
The cold, severe veracity is that most people are not going to give you an apology, because they (frankly) do not feel you are owed one. You may as well just get over it. Because the only thing worse than no apology is an apology someone doesn't mean.
Quit waiting for an apology that is not coming and change your life anyway. Because trust me, it is not stopping whoever hurt you from doing the same.
I apologize all the time (admittedly, not very sincerely) if the person FEELS they are owed an apology. It costs me nothing, gets me past a potentially ugly situation if the person continues to build resentment, and most often, I can get away with apologizing--not for any actual wrongdoing--but for hurting their feelings or making them angry, or for whatever emotion I may have invoked. This acknowledges that I at least recognize that I have in some way made them unhappy, whether or not I would actually do it exactly the same way under the same circumstances or not. As they say, once you can fake sincerity, the rest is easy.
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