The following is a series...what will likely be a lengthy one about the past several years of my life; a life that slowly became "our life". And it's a delicate, behind the scenes look at what everything (and everyone) thought they saw, but never really came into focus. Well, at least for them. It's something that I hope brings joy to many, realization to a few and education to all. Because when two broken people try and navigate the already complicated waters of falling in love, they really don't need any "help" or "inference." So, without further adieu, I give you the Greatest Love Story, never told....
It all began innocently enough. We became Facebook friends in 2009. We were part of the same political discussion groups at the time; both of us staunchly conservative. We commented on each other’s threads, we always had eachother's backs (and nothing has changed in three years).
As was most things with he and I back then, it was meaningless, harmless fun. I respected him, he respected me, even though I hated his grammar and he didn't find me the least bit attractive at the time -- and I wasn't. It was simple enough. We nearly crossed paths (in person) a million times, but missed each other at each turn. Fate, it seems, wasn’t ready for us to meet. Not just yet. He was too busy messing about with bimbos – yes, I said it. And I was too busy shutting everyone out.
It all began innocently enough. We became Facebook friends in 2009. We were part of the same political discussion groups at the time; both of us staunchly conservative. We commented on each other’s threads, we always had eachother's backs (and nothing has changed in three years).
As was most things with he and I back then, it was meaningless, harmless fun. I respected him, he respected me, even though I hated his grammar and he didn't find me the least bit attractive at the time -- and I wasn't. It was simple enough. We nearly crossed paths (in person) a million times, but missed each other at each turn. Fate, it seems, wasn’t ready for us to meet. Not just yet. He was too busy messing about with bimbos – yes, I said it. And I was too busy shutting everyone out.
In late 2010, he began messaging me with real estate questions. I
sensed that there was something more under the surface, but I never pushed; never
asked a bunch of questions. I always figured if he wanted me to know what was going on, he would tell me. We chatted on and off back then, nothing more than hellos and how do you
do’s; a little political banter and a few things here and there. And it was
that year that fate decided we should meet in person. Albeit fate choose (in her way at the time) to make it a short meeting….
My first impression was, "This is the guy with the bad grammar on Facebook? Hmmmm. Interesting."
His first impression was, "She's just like she is online -- crazy."
And, of course, it's fair to mention that there was no mutual attraction at this point. Not at all. I hadn't the foggiest notion that he would soon become the largest part of my world...no idea at all.
I never even noticed when he started taking photos of me at
events we both happened to be at, when we were there at the same time…how he
began making them a focal point of his life. How he phased out the past, slowly, in favor of potential. That is, not until later in the
story. How my photos, slowly began to creep up and replace photos of those now long gone in both of our rear views still baffles me. I cannot to this day pinpoint his "when". And I don't need to. All I need to know is his "why".
In 2011, I was in crisis. He knew it. And he was one of the few
people who checked up on me every day, to ask me how I was, to make sure I was okay…and that was when we began talking on a level deeper
than the surface. Suddenly, we were becoming the best of friends, without either one of us realizing it. I admired him for his intelligence, and he for mine. But he wasn't done partying yet, and I wasn't done shutting people out yet. Fate began gently pushing us together, but also giving us enough distance to self-discover everything we needed to.
Then, more of 2011 and 2012 happened. It all began with a night at the Green
Lantern. He had been at some Fiesta events with his son, and we happened to
(once again) be at the same place at the same time. He remarked, “Oh my god, you
look fantastic, I would have sex with you!” I laughed and blew him off, as I did everyone
at that point, but he hung around, chatted it up a bit and then disappeared…as
he often did that May. But, there was so much more to the story than that…so
much more than I could even have ever seen back then. 
In November of 2012, I had some major changes…catastrophic
ones. Instead of running for the hills, he ran closer to me. He checked on me
every day. I would always get a text asking me if I needed anything; asking if I was okay. Again, I (as I did to everyone back then) pushed him away. But he refused to quit on me. That’s
just who he is. In December of that same year, we started hanging out a lot. He
would always find reasons to invite me to wherever he was, whatever he was
doing…I guess he just wanted me around. Maybe he just felt sorry for me. I don't know. I never asked him to. And, suddenly, I always found a reason to be
where ever he was. Being around him just felt good. Neither of us had ever laughed so hard as when we were together. And he made a point of keeping everyone he thought might do me harm or upset me far away. I didn't know it at the time, but he was protecting me...even from himself.
And it was long ago, back then, that our banter began. He began behaving like a third grader with a crush. And it drove me insane. It was so easy for him to toss around compliments to other people like, "You look great," or "I miss you," But me? I was the one with the giant head, I was the pontificator, I was the one he did so love to pick on...and at. And, I didn't see it at first, but he behaved like that back then -- and still now sometimes -- because for me he felt different, and he didn't know what to do about it. (Of course, the stubborn old goat that he is wouldn't admit this until much further in the story, either.) He drove me crazy. And, I in turn, did the same to him. And, three years later, nothing has changed a bit.
Yet, from watching (or listening to) our banter for several months to a year, the funniest began happening. Everyone, mostly strangers, that we came across started to ask, “How long have you two been married?” At the time, we would both immediately look at each other, smile, laugh it off and explain that we weren’t even together; we were just friends. But…that was also when the seeds began to be planted. Even though I was “in to” someone else at the time, and so was he, it was then, I think, that we both began to wonder.
And it was long ago, back then, that our banter began. He began behaving like a third grader with a crush. And it drove me insane. It was so easy for him to toss around compliments to other people like, "You look great," or "I miss you," But me? I was the one with the giant head, I was the pontificator, I was the one he did so love to pick on...and at. And, I didn't see it at first, but he behaved like that back then -- and still now sometimes -- because for me he felt different, and he didn't know what to do about it. (Of course, the stubborn old goat that he is wouldn't admit this until much further in the story, either.) He drove me crazy. And, I in turn, did the same to him. And, three years later, nothing has changed a bit.
Yet, from watching (or listening to) our banter for several months to a year, the funniest began happening. Everyone, mostly strangers, that we came across started to ask, “How long have you two been married?” At the time, we would both immediately look at each other, smile, laugh it off and explain that we weren’t even together; we were just friends. But…that was also when the seeds began to be planted. Even though I was “in to” someone else at the time, and so was he, it was then, I think, that we both began to wonder.
Suddenly, I found myself getting phone calls from him on his
way to work, on his lunch and on his way home. Every day. He was famous for one
line, “I’m driving by your office right now and I’ve waving at you!” I’d always
say, “I’m waving back.” And each time, we both smiled. And, what became twice a month hang outs began to morph into weekly...then twice a week...and just about always, just the two of us.
In February of 2012, he created a Valentine’s Day party he
knew I would attend; one that was very "me" because he knew I had always approached that day with utter loathing. He pitched it to the place he chose as “Bitter Bash”.
Because he knew I wouldn’t show up to any sort of “lovey dovey” event. He made
an entire event palatable…just for me…just because he knew I would show up if
he did. So, of course, I did. And, once again, we found ourselves alone at the end of the
night, after everyone else had gone home…just talking. Our bond continuing to grow as we sat on the patio until round about 10 pm that night...
I guess it's funny, the way we remember things, but I remember that night, him and the look in his eyes as we spoke...almost as if it was yesterday.
Oh shit. I was developing a massive crush. So, what now?
To find out, what happens next, you'll have to read Part 2.
I guess it's funny, the way we remember things, but I remember that night, him and the look in his eyes as we spoke...almost as if it was yesterday.
Oh shit. I was developing a massive crush. So, what now?
To find out, what happens next, you'll have to read Part 2.
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