On Getting what You “Deserve”



On my seemingly never-ending quest to find truly inspirational television, last Sunday I clicked on ABC’s “Secret Millionaire.” The premise of this show is for a sole self-made millionaire to go and live in an underprivileged area for a few days, seeking out people in those areas who are actually making a difference for others. They are tasked with finding the givers, the helpers and those with hearts of teachers.

During the exercise, the millionaire never reveals who he or she is. In fact, said millionaires literally become fellow “paupers”, armed only with a passion to help. These folks spend time volunteering and getting to know the needs of their community by walking the walk. By the end of the hour-long show, the millionaire selects a few deserving organizations and makes a donation -- and, yes, the donations are on the hefty side.

The show stuck a chord in me; several chords if you want to get technical.

Awhile back, I posted about what I do to “pay it forward” in life. And while my “giving back” is not on quite the same fiscal scale as what you see on TV, it is something I feel strongly about doing.

My Not-So-Dirty-Little Secret
I choose a cause, a person, an event or a charity that I feel are “deserving” of my help, and I take action to help them. I do not do this because I want accolades, a pat on the back or a wellspring of “Wow, that’s awesome,” Facebook comments or Twitter messages. In fact, I do not talk about it at all. I just do it.

Because if there is one thing I cannot stand, it is when hoi polloi announce virtuous deeds. Truth be told, that kind of bragging makes me sick to my stomach.

Saying, “I did this or that,” or listing out your daily good deeds cheapens the act itself. It shows that you are only out there to gain attention and adulation from the masses. You might be doing the right thing, but you are doing them for all the wrong reasons.

It is the righteous deeds done in secret that truly seek no reward. And those are my personal specialty.

Yet, I digress. The entire point of my post is about being deserving. Let me get back to that.

What does deserving mean anyway?
I believe that not everyone “deserves” help. I think there are people who would take that help, suck it up like a parasite and turn it into poison. I believe these people poison themselves, and I believe that they poison others.

It is for this reason that I blatantly reject the notion of socialism. I don’t believe in all of our money going into a community pot to be split equally amongst the masses. Why? Quite simply because not all of the masses are “deserving”.

I believe that giving without strings robs someone of the power they need to alter their life course. I believe in accountability for monetary gifts. I believe in education. I believe, if you will, that it is far more productive to teach a man to fish than it will ever be to hand deliver him fish until the end of his days (naturally there are exceptions for the elderly and the legitimately disabled here, but the point should be clear enough).

I believe in teaching people to be self-sufficient, not in handing out money like participation ribbons like an elementary school. Just because someone thinks they “need” something, doesn’t always make them “deserving” of it. Sometimes, what you really need is a struggle in place of a handout, and you need that struggle so that you can grow and become a better person from the experience.

Hand ups, not handouts.

Sometimes, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you need. And sometimes that “need” comes in the form of a lesson. How you learn that lesson is up to you. But life will continue to present you with the same lesson until you finally learn it.

So don’t mind me, I’m just trying to focus on being a faster learner.

YOUR TURN: How do you define deserving?
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