I never would have foreseen things turning out the way they
have, not in a million years. But you know what? I’m grateful that they have.
Despite all of the twists and turns down this winding road, I finally found
what I needed to find, and I finally found it all by myself.
Mine & Yours
I own my life. Do you own yours? Good decisions, bad
decisions, right decisions and wrong ones, all of these decisions are now mine
again. Completely, totally and utterly mine. And that has given me a lightness
of heart I’ve never had before, as well as a capacity for forgiveness that I
was lacking for a very, very long time. I’m not angry anymore. Finally. And
that was a long time coming.
Justification
We all justify things in our own minds based on what we
think we know. Truth is, we probably don’t know as much as we think we do. And
where does that line of thinking take us? I’m not sure. And that used to bother
me. Now? It doesn’t. Not one bit. I found my reality check and cashed it. And
from it, I was left with change…not of the monetary variety, but a change in
me. And I rather like what’s left over. It’s something I can work with and mold
into something better. I let go of the justification, the anger and the regret
and found something underneath it all that I wasn’t expecting to find at all:
acceptance. Because you are never going
to get where you are going if you stay stuck where you’ve been.
Irony, Humpty Dumpty
and Quiet
Ironically, I wasn’t able to put anything back together, not
the way I needed to, until I silenced everything and everyone else in my life.
And now? Things are coming together in a way that they never would have before,
of that I am quite confident, and in a way that I never even dreamed possible.
Because for the first time, in a long time, I’m taking my own advice…and owning
it, sans justification. What’s more, is that I know that this Humpty Dumpty
repair bit that I’m embarking on is the right thing for me…which is all that truly
matters.
I suppose that sometimes we all need that catalyst to make
us realize that it’s time to reinvent ourselves, and maybe to even reinvent our
entire lives in the process. I am. I took a good, hard look at a lot of things
in my own life, and actually learned from them this time. How? Because this
time, I’m doing something about them, one by one and I’m doing them in silence
until they are done. After all, talk is cheap…a rather Herculean epiphany
coming from a word merchant, right?
What’s my point in all of this? Well, it’s simple. None of
us can change our yesterdays, but we all have the power to change our today’s.
I don’t know about you, but I’m taking that little tidbit and running with it,
and, even more than that, I’m taking ownership of it. Your turn.
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