4 Lessons I Learned From My Nieces
Awhile back, the man said something to me that ruffled my sarcastic feathers. In conversation one evening, he referred to me as an ice princess; the end result being my panties quickly crumpling into a wad.
Then, I unwadded my drawers and unruffled my feathers and I thought about it a little bit.
And I realized that he might be (just a little tiny bit) right.
I guess I am kind of an ice princess.
So here is my confession.
I never thought about how cold and intense I can come off at times – to just about anyone, even small children and dogs --, but when he said it, it got me to thinking about all the times in my life that I have been accused of coming off as cold, unfeeling or even a bit mean. There were several.
Okay, okay, there were more than several.
The thing is, I don’t mean to come off like that.
At all.
I love people (well, some people) very deeply. I am just really, really, really horrendous at showing it. In fact, I can’t remember a single time that I have been good at it. My face is usually set in “resting bitch face” mode 24/7, 365 days a year. I can be very intense when I speak, very authoritative and even come off as a bit bitchy – I don’t mean to do that either.
I’m also a bit of a shut in and a hermit, circa Princess Elsa from “Frozen”.
Why am I this way? A myriad of reasons, really. But, after meeting my nieces for the first time this past weekend, I also learned that I need to….
Up until about a year and a half ago, I had never met Sam and Katie. In fact, I have never even met my brother, Dennis. My brothers and my sister were born much further ahead of me in the lineup of kids – over 14 years in fact --, making me the baby and the only child that my father and my mother had. Since my half-brothers and half-sister lived in Kentucky – and prior to the dawn of social media – we had never even spoken. In fact, the first time I ever spoke to my brother was last year.
Crazy, right?
However, after connecting via Facebook, I began talking to the nieces quite a bit –
sometimes even the nephew. And it was eerie how much we all had in common, how much alike we all were. So, one day, Sam and Katie jumped in the car and decided to come and visit Aunt Shauna (aka Princess Elsa). And while I thought I could teach them something about business and blogging and such, they actually ended up teaching me some things instead.
sometimes even the nephew. And it was eerie how much we all had in common, how much alike we all were. So, one day, Sam and Katie jumped in the car and decided to come and visit Aunt Shauna (aka Princess Elsa). And while I thought I could teach them something about business and blogging and such, they actually ended up teaching me some things instead.
It’s okay to show people how you feel
Touchy, feely is how I would describe my nieces. They would hug and play with each other’s hair and didn’t have the “security bubble” like aunt Shauna does – A security bubble of that includes a strict “no hugging” policy – hugs = death -- and generally liking to keep at least three feet of distance between myself and any other bi-ped with a pulse. However, being around these girls made me realize that it’s okay to be touchy feely; that feeling loved is part of that.
It’s okay to talk to your parents every day
I cannot even describe how cute it was to watch the girls text and talk to their mom and dad a few times a day. There were a lot of “I love yous” and “I miss yous" thrown around – words generally not in my vocabulary. There was a time that I felt I would say those words much more freely, but as life happened, I guess I got a little bitter; cold even. However, the nieces, my brother and my sister-in-law made me realize how important it is to say those things; and that when you are texting family or close friends, you shouldn’t feel like a burden – they might just be waiting to hear from you.
Approach everything with a sense of wonderment
As the girls spoke about the differences between Kentucky and Texas, they did so with an endearing childlike wonderment, and I thought it was absolutely adorable. It made me realize that I rarely approach anything with a sense of wonderment anymore; that wonderment had been replaced with cynicism and apprehension. I need to work on that. And, had they not come down to visit, I probably would not have realized how much.
Give praise. Often.
I admit, I am slow to give praise – like molasses in January slow. I guess that is probably why whenever I have done so in the past I have (literally) freaked people out. The girls, however, are anything but slow to giving praise.
Here is an example: As we went into the mall and I wandered off to grab a phone call from the man, I came back to hear the clerk gushing and saying, “Oh, so THIS is the famous aunt?” And while I minimized it, because I don’t often accept praise easily either, I have to admit, it was nice to be praised.
Something that reminded me that I need to be a little more forthcoming with praise.
So, before they left to return home, I sent a message to my brother telling him what amazing girls they were, how I absolutely adore them and how thrilled I was that he let me borrow them for a weekend. I went on to praise my brother for doing such an amazing job in raising two very sweet, loving, caring and amazing women.
So, I guess I’m on the right track. At least, I am starting out on the right foot, and maybe, just maybe my ice cold demeanor melted just enough to remind me that sometimes we all need an emotional overhaul – or at least a makeover. And sometimes, just sometimes, the people you think you are meant to teach are the people who end up schooling you.
All my love from the bottom of my a-little-less ice cold heart,
Miss Adventures
Miss Adventures
0 comments