Recently, one of my twins said “I’m not a mother” to them. I got NOTHING from one of them this last Mother’s Day, not even a text. If I said that didn’t hurt, I’d be lying. I don’t ask for presents, I don’t ask for gifts, I don’t ask for anything….just a text would do, but apparently she justifies this behavior by saying, I’m a “horrible mother”.
So, I’d like to outline what a horrible mother does.
A horrible mother changes diapers, feeds babies and takes
care of kids for years on end, as a teenager by herself, with NO help from your father.
A horrible mother works two jobs while finishing high
school.
A horrible mother is one who beats the shit out of a father
who duct tapes a baby’s hands together and who, in turn gets choked to a point
of unconsciousness because she did so...many, many times.
A horrible mother shields her children from a physically
abusive father by taking their beatings for them for 17 years. She gets her face beat in, she gets scars on her forehead...because she doesn't want to see that happen to them. That's what a horrible mother does.
A horrible mother pretends to whack her girls with a belt
because ‘daddy says so’ and coaches them on when to cry and how to avoid
getting hit. Because she doesn’t want to hurt them. Because she is a child
herself and doesn’t know what else to do.
A horrible mother walks 4 miles in six feet of snow for
years just to volunteer at their Kindergarten and first grade, and second and beyond.
A horrible mother tries to make a living, a life for her
girls to get away from an abusive asshole father.
A horrible mother learns skills and becomes more successful
than her husband because she wants to break free.
A horrible mother doesn’t make noise when he took that away
from her.
A horrible mother breaks down and doesn’t know what to do,
but gets blamed for FUCKING EVERYTHING, even when it’s HIS FAULT.
A horrible mother gets into a car accident on your 15th
birthday, smashing a cake on the dashboard, and even though your wonderful
father was at home and did NOTHING, your HORRIBLE mother still got you another
cake, silly string and showed up at the park at 7pm in a rental car….because
she fucking sucks and is horrible.
A horrible mother makes sure her girls have a great prom by
taking them to get makeup and hair done all day.
A horrible mother always went out of her way to make you
feel special and loved.
A horrible mother tells a father to go fuck himself when he
tries to ruin said prom.
A horrible mother makes sure her kids bills are paid, by
paying her rent and car insurance every month, without fail, without asking for
anything in return.
A horrible mother cares and will drop EVERYTHING when her
twins fight to talk to both of them and love them both anyway.
A horrible mother is always the first phone call when things suck.
A horrible mother is always the first text when you fight.
A horrible mother is the one who fought the WORLD, who STILL
fights the world against an incest case that is reprehensible.
A horrible mother is one who owns a successful company, who
has real estate investments, who coaches and encourages thousands of people,
daily.
That’s exactly what a horrible mother does.
Your beef? I drink. I smoke. I cuss. So do most successful
people. But I have NEVER done anything to hurt you, to damage you
intentionally.
And here is the thing that really sucks. Your beef with me,
has nothing to do WITH ME, never has. It’s all your father’s hatred and
vitriol. All lies, all untrue. If you’d just take a SECOND to get to know me
and not listen to an individual who still has open cases of sexual misconduct open with the FBI and the police department for pedophilia, as well as a proven court case of molestation in his home state (again, pedophile), you’d see the truth. But you place such value on
someone who is so damaged and hurtful and manipulative, you don’t see a light at the end of the
tunnel. Then again, pointing that out is exactly what a horrible mother would
do.
Lovingly yours,
A horrible mother
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