So many people think they know you, don’t they? They think
they know your heart, your motives, your intent…but the sad truth of it is,
they don’t. They haven’t the first clue. What you see isn’t always what you
get.
I have come to the rather tragic conclusion that I’m better
on paper than I am in person. But, the odd thing about that is, I’m strangely
okay with that. And maybe you are too… Perhaps you are better via written word
than in person. After all, the written word gives us more time to think, doesn’t
it? And maybe that’s just better.
For as long as I can remember, at least from my early
twenties, people always said I wore the mask of confidence well, and I do still
to this day. However, under the mask is a consortium of insecurities.
Insecurities you can’t even imagine unless you were in my own little brain. Insecurities
that, I know, many of you carry as well. Because, really, your social media
life isn’t your real life. I know this, and so do you.
If we measured your life based on photographs and status
updates, what would we see? Smiling faces and positive thoughts, right? There
are never the times you hang your head and send a smiley face when tears stream
down your face…no one takes photos of that, do they? No one is there to document a pictorial
history of your arguments, the moments you stare at the sky and wonder, pray,
think, beg, plead, sob... Those are our most private, intimate moments in the
relationship we have with ourselves…but the most poignant. No one documents the
unhappy…they are too busy documenting the positive. But why?
Is life not made up of both sweet and sour? Of love and
hate? Of challenge and change? The most defining moments of our lives are those
that are not caught on film, and thusly fade from our memory, seducing us to
believe that life should be one big ball of light. For what? Without challenge
there is no change. Without hate there is no love. Without sour there is no
sweet. And that’s just what it is.
Words weigh heavier on me than you might think they do. I
imagine they weigh heavier on you than what you admit to as well. In fact, I
know I am personally guilty of the sin of making words weigh heavily on people…this
my cross to bear as a merchant of words. This is often why I am accused of “over
reacting” or being “overly dramatic”. I take words, I internalize them and I
dwell. Yes, I admit, I’m a dweller. But you know what? You are too. Whether you
want to admit it or not.
So what do we do?
Great question.
See, right about now, I could take this blog into some
authoritative nonsense viewpoint OR I could make it thought provoking. I choose
the latter.
I challenge you to document the ugly. I challenge you to document
the uncomfortable. I challenge you to document the less than perfect. And I
challenge you to see how THAT doesn’t change you.
Are you up for it? I am.
And the soundrack of Life selection is...and NOT for the reasons you might think. :)
I have always hated taking pictures, why? I think it comes from my childhood, family would always make fun of me, calling me fat. I would always say nothing, while silently crying inside. See as a Latino male we were taught never to cry, out loud. Unless of course we lost an eye or a limb.Words hurt, no matter how much I have accomplished in life, I am still the one person that volunteers in a group to take the picture...
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