Facebook has this nifty little feature called your “Year in
Review”. Only trouble with the social media adaptation of mine is that it
leaves a lot out. It leaves, in my opinion, far too much to the telling. So, as
I close the cover on the book of 2013 and look forward, I began thinking about
everything I learned this past year. Then, as I was scrolling through my
newsfeed, I saw an update that went a little like this: “What do you miss about
your life from five years ago?” Naturally, I began thinking about this as well,
and here are my answers, plus my own personal 2013 year in review.
Everything I’ve
Learned In Life I’ve Learned from My Dog
Yesterday, DD and I went to the dog park with Kizmet and
Aradia. And, I couldn’t help but smile as I got to thinking about how much dogs
take on the personality traits of their owners. Aradia is fiercely loyal,
loving, will always be by my side, but yet, around other people (and dogs), she
is aloof. She (my dog), stayed away from the pack. She didn’t play; not at
first. She observed instead. And, even though everyone wanted to be her friend,
she selectively picked the dogs that exhibited the best things of themselves in
the park, while still maintaining her individuality. That was when she became
comfortable enough to ‘play’. And I’m not quite sure if I learned that from
her, or if she learned it from me, but it was poignant nonetheless.
The lesson here is
this: Not everyone is your friend. Not everyone has to be. It’s okay to be
selective about who you let in, and who you let pass on through.
Growth, Without Pain,
Is Meaningless
So many people out there will judge me, judge you, talk
about you behind your back, say mean things to your face, but the thing I’ve
learned about all of them is this: Pain is necessary. Without it, we can’t
grow. And, while I can admit I have caused pain when I didn’t mean to, when it
wasn’t my intent, I have to own up to the fact that I’ve caused it to others.
So do you.
The lesson here is
this: Pain can either break you down and make you a bitter, angry, nasty
person, or it can be the catalyst for growth. The beautiful thing about both
options is that the choice is yours. In 2013, I made and love dearly the best
friend I’ve ever had. You know who you are.
Free…Finally
I don’t talk much about my life, not even on social media.
There are dusty, dark corners of my life that I have given the key to only a
few people to see. My reasons for that are my own, but this last year brought
me freedom. It brought me to the brink of death with a 2-day stay in the burn
unit at SAMC, laying in a hospital bed with a tube down my throat. It brought
me to pain I haven’t acknowledged until now. It brought me truth that I hadn’t
been willing to see until now. Most importantly, it brought me all the right
people at all the right times to teach me each lesson, as needed. I acknowledge
this, and them, even if they aren’t here anymore, either by my doing or their
own, but I thank each of them, equally. Without them, I couldn’t continue to
grow.
The lesson here is
this: Be a free spirit. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing or
saying or thinking. They don’t walk your path. They aren’t in your shoes. The
advice they give is based on what they know, their truth…not yours. Take it all
with a grain of salt.
So What Is My Answer?
Five years ago, it was 2008. I was in a horrible marriage,
my life was falling apart, and to compensate, I focused on my career. And I was
really good at what I did. In 2008, I came up with a unique system for blogging
and social media that I stumbled upon through trial and error, many, many
times, and supplemented with self-education. I was on my way to being on the
front page of Yahoo, several times, of doing radio interviews and being on
panels…and I didn’t even know it. I paved a path to greatness by thinking
outside of myself…unintentionally. And, when everything came together this
year, and I got an opportunity to take my training, my system, what I’ve done,
around the country and around the world, I realized that all that time wasn’t
wasted. Not at all. I say often that everything happens for reason, and when
you find out what that reason is, it blows you away. What you want, and don’t
get, often leads you to something better.
You see, five years ago, I was miserable. I was struggling with
cancer, I was lonely, I was often distraught. All the same, 2013 brought me a
divorce that was long overdue, an awareness that was the same and an ability to
teach and train to a model I came up with five years ago; a model that I am
watching change people’s lives; a model that makes them happy; and a model that
is allowing me to watch people who were once closed off become exactly what I
always knew they could. So, what do I miss from five years ago? Nothing. Not a
damn thing. But, comparing my life from a year ago or even five years ago to today…the
leap has been tremendous, the journey tumultuous, and the future…exciting.
The lesson here is this: There are moments that break you and moments that make you.
The irony is that you choose which one yours is. Choose wisely. For
your choice becomes your destiny.
Welcome 2014. Live Bravely.
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