After telling the world about our house fire, the response I
received from friends, family and even “fans” was nothing short of amazing.
However, those who knew me personally were also given a very specific set of instructions,
“Do NOT tell him,” I said. “He is on vacation and doesn’t want drama and he
doesn’t need to know about any of this until he gets back.”
But, someone let it slip on Facebook, two days after the
incident. I didn’t realize it. I thought nothing of it at first. I didn't think about him seeing it or not, or even caring if he had seen it. At that point,
I expected nothing from him at all. I guess that was my first mistake.
After two days in the hospital, I remember laying on my
sofa, in a Percocet coma after I was released to go home. I was out of it. I had been
out of it for days, after enduring a burn shower, physical therapy and a
morphine drip…I was the furthest thing from myself that I could remember. My
phone kept ringing and beeping, interrupting some very much needed sleep. On
that second day home, however, I noticed that I kept missing calls from an
international number. I didn’t think much of it at the time, so I continued
ignoring the calls. The only thing I was interested in doing was sleeping
anyway. The pain medication and neural inhibitors made me nearly worthless. I
couldn’t drive, function or do much of any
But the number kept popping up…several times a day...relentlessly.
Finally, on the third day home from the hospital, I
answered. It was him.
His voice was fuzzy and sounded far away. He said, “I have
no cell reception here. I checked Facebook the other day and heard….”
He started crying. I could hear him trying desperately to
choke back tears.
“That you were in a fire. Are you okay? Please tell me you
are okay….”
I told him I was fine. That there was no need to worry about
me and that he should enjoy his vacation (I told you I was stubborn).
He then proceeded to say, “I don’t know what I would do if
anything ever happened to you. I come home tomorrow. Can I come and see you?”
I replied, “Sure.” Thinking he wouldn’t show up anyway.
But, true to his word, immediately after he landed, he
called me, picked up dinner for me and came straight from the airport to see
me.
And, the second he saw me, he cried. He hugged me. He
wouldn’t let go. He made sure I ate and that I was comfortable and he left saying,
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
And he did call me the next day, after texted me several
times that night. He said he was happy I was okay, that he could never lose me,
that he wouldn’t know what to do without me.
“Finally,” I thought to myself, “It took all of this for him
to ‘get it’ but he finally gets it.”
And, for the next few weeks things began returning to
normal. At least, as normal as what was "us" back then...and as normal as it could be for awhile.
I was impatient back in those days, and refused to
understand how it was so hard for him to be in a relationship, forgetting that
he had been by himself for nine years; forgetting that I was the first person
he had “let in” in a very, very long time.
As we ebbed toward the beautiful, neither of us saw what was
brewing underneath all of that. At least, not yet. It wasn’t time. So, for the
next few weeks, we enjoyed each other’s company. He didn’t even mind that I had
no eyelashes and had lost a lot of my hair. We went right back to being inseparable.
Right back to our comfortable spot. And, it was the best place for both of us
to be.
And, for those of you who are wondering about the trip, the
ex-girlfriend didn’t go. She "flaked"...as she often has, does and will forever do. His friend, Leonard went, instead. And they golfed
a lot. Even when we were “fighting”, he never wanted to let go of the idea that
I would get over it and find my way back home. And, I always did. Despite the fact, that even after the fire, all he wanted to do was show off photos with vapid, vacuous children, I let it go. At least, most of the time. I, as I found out later, was one of the few who did. He made people livid at his posts, his vacation photos, his commentary about "gorgeous this or that", even moreso than I. It was at this point, may people unfriended him and approached me, asking, "How can he do that to you? It's so disrespectful! You were fighting for your life and all he seems to care about are some stupid 20-year-old tramps on vacation."
And while I have never disagreed with that, that is a part for the next segment of the story...
Because, for him, Facebook was a fallacy...whereas for me, it was an extension of who I am. And it still is.
And while I have never disagreed with that, that is a part for the next segment of the story...
Because, for him, Facebook was a fallacy...whereas for me, it was an extension of who I am. And it still is.
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