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1. The Exaggerator
You know the one. The one who takes a truth
and bends it into their perception, their will, and molds it into whatever they
want it to be? Yup. I was her. I would expand and expound on things that really
don’t need to be expanded upon. It wasn’t until I pulled people like this into my
orbit that the self-loathing hit. And while I still have a “flair” for the
dramatic, I’m nowhere near this toxic person that I used to be.
2. The Drama Queen
Attention seeking, self-absorbed,
narcissistic and overly dramatic. Yup. I was this person too. Coupled with
being the exaggerator, this was a lethal combination. Again, it wasn’t until I
saw my mirrors that I realized it was time for me to wake up.
3. The Gossip
This one is a hard one isn’t it? I know
many people who still fit this bill, and I know that even I, still today, will
fall back into these old, toxic habits – even when I know better. It takes a
conscious effort to not “warn people” about those who have done me wrong,
justifying myself to think that I have some right or obligation to do so. But I
don’t. Their stuff, their lesson, and it’s not for me to spread rumors that are
days old, months old, or even years old. And, while I was ALMOST pulled back
into this toxic behavior just less than a week ago, I made a conscious choice
to rise above, to allow people to make their own judgments and assessments, and
to accept the fact that individuals who are too weak to do that when it comes
to others, don’t belong anywhere near me anyway.
4. The Manipulator
I have always been “gifted”, I guess you
could say, to know exactly what buttons to push with most folks to get exactly
what I want from them. No, I’m not exactly proud of this when it comes to
negative things, but when it comes to inspiring positive behavior, this can be
a good trait as well. It all depends on how you use it. Trouble was, I was
using my powers for evil far more often than I was using them for good.
Recently, I was exposed to someone who exhibited a certain behavior I had come
to loathe: pretending to be something that they clearly are not, justifying
their own bullshit by saying they are making “choices” to be where they are,
when that is the furthest thing from the truth. So, I cut them too. Without
warning. Why? Because I wasn’t going to be taken down by a manipulative, bitter
person who puts on a great façade; a manipulator.
5. The Dreamer
Many people would associate this type of
person as inspirational. Many people would be wrong. The dreamer can be the
most toxic of all people, wrapping you up in a fantasy land of promises and who also wraps you up in a blanket of could bes. Trouble is, the dreamer is nothing more
than a bonafide bullshit artist, who will never follow through on anything they
say. This was part of my inspiration for my “I’m
Gonna” blog. I recognized that same behavior in someone else in my life,
and also bid them adieu.
And that’s the thing, I think. I think it
isn’t until we see these undesirable behaviors exhibited by those in our closet
circle that we are given the opportunity to step up or be drug beneath. Not to
say that these people are necessarily “bad” people, but they are (make no
mistake) toxic, making it that much more important to limit interactions, or
cut them altogether, because what you allow is what will continue. And you will
never reach the apex of your own potential when you are surrounded by fools,
manipulators, dreamers and fakes. There is an old saying that goes, “Show me
who your closest friends are, and I will show you who you are.” And, it’s true.
So, today, I’d like to introduce you to a non-toxic (or far less toxic) me, a
me that was years in the making, and the me that is still trying to get to the
most normal, yet extraordinary version of myself. Because I won’t hide my
bullshit from the world. I won’t hide my greatness either. Nor should anyone
else.
The lesson here? Bid goodbye to toxic
people sooner than later, even if that toxic person is you. The best change you
can make in the world is the one you start with in the mirror every day.
Thoughts?
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