It was early October. And I was reflecting on the fact that
I was human. And I was only really successful in feeding my insecurities –
things that really didn’t need much more nourishment.
I remember that day quite well. A friend and I were
discussing people who still live in the past, who haven’t quite yet made it to
the present; still behaving like they are 20 when that era has long since passed
them by. Mind you, we weren’t discussing this in a negative manner, but rather,
proclaiming the fact that we were grateful we were no longer these people. Yet,
she was a little harsher with judgments than I; a little more edgy when it came
to pointing out what was wrong with people who wanted to remain stuck in the
past. And, as I listened to her pontificate and drone on, I began tuning her
out.
I remember thinking, “What is it going to really solve,
talking about all of this, rehashing the same things over and over
again…obsessing?”
So, I, as I often do, when I find myself uncomfortable in
any conversation, found solace in my phone (yes, that is one of my deep, dark
secrets – when I’m bored with you, I will grab my phone…now you know).
And as I
was pushing buttons and messing about with apps, I noticed that my TimeHop (an app that lets you reflect back on
your past status updates and photos) for the day was ready. I slid my index
finger over the app to open it and check it out. I read each update for the
past four years. And, as I read them, I grinned.
She looked at me and said, “What are you smiling about?”
I replied, “This time, last year, was the first time that
the man and I went on vacation to Fredericksburg. Man, that was a great trip.”
Darkness took over her face. Her eyes squinted. I could tell she was visibly upset with me, as she said, with silent judgment in her eyes, “So, you’re still living in the past?”
And, naturally, I had a reply (I mean, it is me….I always
have SOMETHING TO SAY), so I said “You know, I like this app because, if used
appropriately, it will show you how you have grown and changed over the years,
or how you haven’t; almost like a journal. It allows you to take a good, hard
look at yourself from an introspective standpoint, to see things you have
written almost as if they were the first time you have seen them. It shows you
why people form misguided opinions of you based on what you post. It allows you
to reconnect with the emotions and the ‘why’ of what you posted when you did,
and it allows you to revel in that or see where you could still use some
improvement. It’s a reminder, a great memory, a fantastic mirror into the ‘you’
that you used to be. So when you ask me if, as I reflect on things I both love
and hate about myself, if I am living in the past, my only reply to you is
this: No, I’m learning from it.”
Stunned, she said nothing.
While I don’t advocate trying to resurrect the good old days
(at least not all the time), or getting trapped in the nasty rose colored
glasses that nostalgia can sometimes bring, I believe that having tools to help
you remember (for me it’s journals, notes and apps) serve as incredible guides
that show you who you were, who you are now and who can potentially become.
The great thing about it is that the choice is yours.
But, if we don’t sometimes stroll down memory lane with an
intention of being introspective, we run the risk of repeating the past,
instead of learning from it. This is why I document so much….because when you
can look back and remember, you can look back and learn.
Want to start documenting your life? Get a journal, write yourself a note every day for a year. Then, a year from now, look back on it. This is mine. If you want one like it, you can get it here.
Want to start documenting your life? Get a journal, write yourself a note every day for a year. Then, a year from now, look back on it. This is mine. If you want one like it, you can get it here.
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